Confessions.33

A shadow started forming, and without turning around, Rayan knew it was Abdullah. "Etha yay betratheeney tra malah da3ey. I'm not even mad." Rayan said once he sat down next to her. Abdullah's face lit up and his smile shone in the darkness of the night. "Enzain yabounech dakhel." he said after a few seconds of silence. "Hufff. Maley khelg agoum." she said, listening to the sound of the soft waves breaking at the shore. "Yallah rou7ay 3la ma ana arou7 ayeeblich el'latte mn starbucks." he said and turned around to look at her. "Mashkour bas malah da3ey wallah 3adey." she told him before getting up.


Rayan wasn't mad at Abdullah.  She was mad at herself for refusing to let her friend go. She kept thinking of Hamad. His words, hive voice saying "I'm yours." kept ringing in her head and it made her smile. She walked inside the shalaih, the cold breeze of the air conditioner hit her and gave her goosebumps. "Tabouney?" she asked Hessa and Zaina. Zaina turned her head to where Rayan was standing, "T3alay ambeh a7es ma sheftich el'youm!" she said as she got up and pulled Rayan to another corner of the living room. "Oushhh abey asma3!" said Hessa, who was watching an Arabian TV series.


"Shfeech? Laish radaitaw mbacher?" Zaina asked with questioning eyes. "Awal heday eedey 7abeebtey." Rayan said and she chuckled. "Te7achayyy feeney douda!" Zaina squeaked and Rayan chuckled again. "Hmm shtabeeney agoul?" Rayan asked, and at that very moment, Abdullah walked in. His eyes scanned the room until they met Rayan's. She smiled at him, "Zaina mumken aboug Rayan shwaya?" he politely asked, not making any contact with Zaina. "Laish sh3endik?" Rayan asked jokingly. "Abey akalmech b'mawthou3." he said and gave her a half smile. "Oki bas dgeega arou7 el7amam." she said as she sprinted towards the bathroom, while Abdullah stepped outside again.


Rayan took a step outside the shalaih. She couldn't walk properly, she limped her way to Abdullah. "Shfeech chthey tamsheen 3away?" he asked while smoking a cigarette. "Eskit ambeh wallah baghait a6ee7 tawa." she said in a sad tone and Abdullah pulled a chair for her, his cigarette placed firmly between his fingers. She sat and then stared at the cigarette, indicating that she wanted him to put it away. He looked at the cigarette, "Mthaygetich?" he asked. "La bas ma7eb ashoufek tdakhen." she said, looking the other way.


Abdullah sighed as he put away the cigarette. Rayan remained silent, even after he sat right across from her at the wooden table on the beach. "Shfeech? Al7een ana ely met'thayeg wla entay?" he asked in annoyance. The look on Rayan's face faded away and an expression of empathy washed over her."Mafeeney shay..." she said as she smiled, "Enta ely shfeek?" she asked.


Abdullah looked away. "Entay tadreen shfeeney. Ou adrey enech 7asa feeney." he said and remained quiet. Silence filled the space between them until Rayan's sobs grew louder. "Laa tabcheeen! Ma yjouz tabcheen bas khala9 Rayoun!" he said as he got up and sat next to her. Abdullah sat quietly next to Rayan, watching her cry her eyes out and not knowing what to do. Seeing her, the one person he loves more than life, so weak and fragile tore him apart.


Rayan was drowning in her world. The dark and sad world she lived in after Jenan left and took all the beauty of it with her. She felt guilty for concentrating on healing her own wounds and forgot about Abdullah. Who was the one right there, helping bring her to the bright side. She swallowed the lump and looked at Abdullah. "I miss her too, you know." she said, her tears giving her away.


Abdullah couldn't bring himself to look in her eyes. Everything about her reminded him of his sister. Her eyes looked like hers. Her voice sounded like hers. Her giggles and laughs made him feel like Jenan was still right there, and it brought him back to life. He didn't know if he was imagining all this, yet it still felt so right to him. Rayan's presence gave him a feeling he couldn't describe. Like he got his sister back, and she's still alive.


She placed her hand on top of his and held it tightly. The strong and tough Abdullah is now the same Abdullah that needs her more than anyone. Their skins met, she held his hand tightly and Abdullah squeezed her hand back. He started rubbing his thumb against her back of her hand and she smiled. Tears streamed down her face and Abdullah moved closer to her. "Bas khala9 Rayan. 3ashaney." he said, kneeling forward and looking in her eyes, while Rayan had her head down, her hair covering her face. She looked up at the sky and breathed out.


Closing her eyes, she let go of Abdullah's hand to cover her face. Abdullah sighed out of frustration, he had no idea what to do. A voice in his head kept telling him to pull her to his chest, but Abdullah kept the boundaries in mind. He had a lot of respect for Rayan.


She wiped away her own tears and then looked at Abdullah. She smiled, but that smile wasn't gonna fool Abdullah. Instead, he held her hand again, "You'll always have my shoulder when you cry." he told her and she shed a tear again. Not because she missed Jenan so much, but because she was thankful that a person like Abdullah was brought into her life. "3asaney man7erem." she said and his face lit up with a huge smile. Abdullah was happy again in an instant.


"La tabcheen Oki? La ana wla omey wla 7ata Janouna n7eb nshoufech met'thayga." he said as they both stood up. "Enshallah" she said with a shy smile that reached her ears. Rayan went inside, leaving Abdullah standing there. He recalled the touch of her hand, the warmth of her touch and it gave him shivers. The love he had for Rayan was pure and innocent. He knew that the only way he was ever gonna make her "his" was through her father. And that was what he intended to do. He had his eyes set on a goal, a destination, and nothing can get in his way.


Rayan spent what was left of her day with Zaina and Hessa, watching a TV series and commenting on whatever they can comment on. Until Abdullah told them it was getting late and that the should get going. Rayan bbm-ed Hamad and told him that she was getting ready to go home, his reply was "Oki deeray balech ou 6amneeney la we9altey". She smiled and his voice lingered in her ear. She anticipated being in her bed, with Hamad on the phone until they fall asleep together.


Abdullah offered Zaina a ride home with them but she wanted to go with the driver, using the "mabey ata3bek" excuse. She was the first to excuse herself, leaving Rayan and Abdullah waiting for Hessa to finish gathering her stuff. "Yallah 6el3aw ana kaney warakum." yelled Hessa from the bathroom. "Yallah meshaina?" Abdullah asked and Rayan nodded. "Ma nesaitay shay?"  he asked again and Rayan nodded again.


He led the way to his car and opened the door for her. She got in and placed her headphones in her ear, blocking out the world. Hessa came 3 minutes later and they started making their way back home.


Rayan was too busy living her twisted version of a fairytale to realize the princess story Abdullah was willing to give her.


In 2 hours, she found her father tucking her in her bed. "Te9b7een 3la khair 7abeebtey" he said as he kissed her head. "Ou enta mn ahla." she said and he switched off the lights. She unlocked her blackberry and bbm-ed Hamad.

Rayan:
Wanna call? I'm home x

Hamad:
Laa baba okhuy maqmout ou bag3ad ma3ah

Rayan:
Okay:p. Good night babe x

Hamad:
Gn boo x

Rayan closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She was physically tired but her mind refused to let her rest. She kept thinking of Hamad, the stuff he said and his words lingered in her brain. She unintentionally checked his twitter account. And it broke her down to a million pieces, wishing she never checked it in the first place.

He had retweeted a girl named Lulwa. The tweet has "Otp with the coolest buddy ever." and she had mentioned him.


It was another night of sorrow, a pillow stained with tears and a heart full of pain.

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Sorry for the delay! My apology if you think its short:p.
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